


Setting Sail

by unamusementpark



Category: Homestuck, Piratestuck - Fandom
Genre: Drinking, Humanstuck, I am so sorry, M/M, Piratestuck, Violence, a lot of drinking, everyone is so OOC, theyre pirates what did you expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unamusementpark/pseuds/unamusementpark
Summary: Karkat is captured by pirates. Long story short, he gets attached to one. (oh my god this desc is so boring and lemme tell ya its not getting any better from here)





	1. In Which Karkat Gets Fucked Over

**Author's Note:**

> hey yeah this is shit and i dont have an excuse lmao i apologize if i mess up on any pirate talk or whatever (but also its hard because they dont TALK like pirates in homestuck so its a choice between furthering the ooc and furthering the lack of accuracy) also not really and im not even trying to make karkat talk like your average person from the eighteenth century sorry folks but this is what youre getting

Sweat dripped down Karkat Vantas's face as he leaned against the wall, eyes closed, hoping for some sort of cooling breeze to waft through the planks of the ship. Whatever sort of heat the sailors thought they were experiencing on deck, it was nothing compared to below, where it was stifling and humid. The air stunk of mildew, waste, and sweat. Karkat had to admit he was part of the problem. There was only one other prisoner down here, and he was suffering from heatstroke, so he was completely dry. Well, he _had_ been suffering from heatstroke- he was dead now. His chest was no longer rising and falling. Calling the guards had done no good, not even when he tried to tell them how awful it would smell once the body started to rot on such a hot day.

Now that he thought about it, he wasn't even sure that he could be heard. The clamor up above was enough to drown out even his voice, which was really saying something. The captain yelled nonsense, the crew replied with equally nonsensical nonsense, and chatter filled the air. Crashing and banging of metal on metal added music to the choir of cacophony, and to top it all off, he could hear the waves slamming furiously against the ship, trying (and failing, sadly) to sink it.

All of this would have been bearable if he could at least move around. He was, however, chained to the wall, which was redundant considering the fact that he was locked in a cell anyways. Sure, he'd be able to escape if he _weren't_ restrained, but it was only common courtesy to give people a chance to do so. He tugged at the chains, trying to pick the lock with his fingernails. All he was succeeding in so far was breaking his nails, but it had to work eventually, otherwise he'd end up like the poor schmuck in Cell Number Who Gives A Shit Because He's Fucking Dead.

A sound from above. He froze, listening. It sounded... different. Panicked. The crew began to shout with renewed fervor. He couldn't make anything out, but he was pretty sure the ship was soon to be under attack. Whether it was by an enemy nation, some of the anti-imperial rebels (oh, he hoped so- seeing some friendly faces would be nice), or pirates, he couldn't tell. Whatever it was, it was nearby.

He began to work at the lock even more, nails bleeding, hoping to make use of the chaos. Whatever was about to happen, he was sure it wasn't good. He looked around, searching for something, _anything_ , to use to help him. His cell was as empty and useless as ever.

New voices joined the din, screaming and laughing. Karkat could hear gunshots and swords clashing. The faint shadows that came through the planks were fighting against each other- that much he could tell. There was a thump as a body fell to the floor above him, blood dripping through the ceiling soon after. He couldn't tell whether the imperials were winning or losing, although if they had been boarded by someone, the odds were against a victory.

He grit his teeth and yanked at the chains, ignoring the way his wrists and shoulders complained against it. They didn't budge. He pressed himself against the wall, feeling the planks, trying to look for a weak spot. Hell, even a splinter of wood would have made him happy. Anything to try and help pick the stupid lock.

He was just starting to peel a piece off when the door opened. Light flooded in the semi-dark room, illuminating a figure in the doorway. Karkat could still hear the sounds of battle above, but the person strolled in as though nothing unusual were happening at all. Another figure joined them from behind, and he could hear the two mutter to each other before descending down the wooden staircase, cutlasses ready. So they were pirates, then. Perfect, he was worried something might have gone right.

They pair split, one heading across the room from Karkat, the other towards him. He was glad for the split. The one who was walking away from him was _huge_. It made the one who was peering through the bars with murky green eyes almost unthreatening, save for the fact that the cutlasses the pirate held in each hand were covered in blood. The pirate stared at him with narrowed eyes before gasping, mouth forming a comical _O_ of shock.

"Equius! C'mere!" the pirate said, and with a jolt, Karkat realized the pirate was a woman.

The other pirate turned ( _Please don't fall, you'll knock a hole in the bottom of the ship,_ Karkat prayed) and studied Karkat with a mild interest. His face remained expressionless and his voice flat. "What am I looking at, Nepeta?"

She rolled her eyes. "This is that rebel guy, duh! The Signless or something."

Karkat's heart sank. There was no way they'd let him go, not when they knew who he was... kind of. They certainly knew who he was working with. (Still, kind of- the leader of the rebellion wasn't named Signless. That would have been stupid.)

"No it's not. This man is inconsequential."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No! He's got the weird red eyes, see?" Nepeta stared at her fellow pirate with gloating pleasure, then looked back at Karkat.

"He can't be. He's too short. Rebels are supposed to be dangerous, not tiny midgets." He, too, stared at Karkat, but he had an expression of supreme disgust.

That was crossing the line. Karkat bristled, flushing with anger. "I'm not short!" he interrupted. "I'm average sized, thank you very much! And even if I _were_ short, that wouldn't stop me from kicking your... uh, someone's ass."

Nepeta laughed. "You're short. Even _I'm_ taller than you." She then turned to Equius, wrinkled her nose, and said, "Go get someone else to decide if it matters so much! I'm staying with him so you don't sweat on him or something."

Equius shook his head. "No. We should take him to the captain."

Nepeta mulled it over for a moment, then shrugged, dropped her sword with an unceremonious clatter, and picked the lock of the cell with no struggle or tools at all. The door swung silently open. Equius stepped through, still looking as though Karkat were the most disgusting thing on the planet. He sighed and used his free hand to punch Karkat on the nose, the cracking of bone not registering as he fell unconscious.


	2. In Which Karkat Isn't Sure What's Going On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full offense but i didnt even proofread this because i burned myself out while writing it so sorry it gets even worse @ the end sorry john m888888

It felt like a blacksmith had mistaken his nose for a sledgehammer. This was the first thing Karkat became aware of. He could feel dried blood crusting his face and taste some in his mouth. The next thing he became aware of was the ropes around his wrist, chafing and cutting into his skin. He tried to move, eyes still closed, and found he was tied to... something. Goddammit.

He groaned and opened his eyes. It was dusk. He could see the rosiness of the sun in the water, reflecting into his eyes. At least it wasn't midday, he guessed. It was cooler now that the sun wasn't beating down on him.

He was on a ship, but not the ship he had been on before. This one was larger, and it had less people. It also smelled much, much worse- like sweat and stale piss and fish and ale, all so strong it made him cough. The people he could see were filthy, even filthier than the sailors from the imperial ship. They wore no uniforms, instead sporting mismatched rags and shirts with sword holes in them. Pirates. He was on a pirate ship.

"Perfect," he muttered. It hurt his nose to talk.

"Hey, brother! You're awake!" said a slurred voice beside him. Karkat turned to find -what else?- a pirate. He was sitting on top of a barrel, looking down at Karkat. His thick, wild hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He clutched a dark green bottle in his hand. A mystery liquid swished around inside, but from what Karkat knew about pirates, it was almost definitely rum.

"Yeah, I noticed," he snapped. The pirate hopped down from his barrel and sat next to Karkat, grinning with the trademark rotted teeth. "What do you guys want? Imperial information? Well guess what, asshole! I don't know shit! That's why I was a prisoner and not working for those pricks! Maybe you should use your fucking brain before tying people up for no reason!"

The pirate's expression didn't change. "Shit, bro, you sound pretty motherfuckin' crabby."

"Holy shit, do I? Excuse me, Your Highness, I had no idea! I mean, it's not like I went from being a prisoner for one kind of shitwipe to another, and the second kind didn't even have the goddamn _courtesy_ to keep me conscious! They could have threatened me with swords or guns or whatever you people use, but noooooo. You had to get fucking Muscles McGee to punch my lights out, and on top of it, you had to get some anonymous twat to tie me to a pole!" He took a deep breath. Yelling at this guy was making his nose hurt even more, but he didn't give a shit. He had a lot to say.

When the pirate opened his mouth to reply, Karkat cut him off. "No, no! I'm not done! It's not Talky Time For Assholes! Right now, there's only one person talking, and that person is me, got it? I'm the one talking, and you're not me, so shut the fuck up. You had the entire time I was sleeping -oh did I just say sleeping? Pardon me, I meant UNCONSCIOUS- to talk to someone! Now I have to catch up, and boy oh fucking boy is there a lot to catch up on. For example, did you _really_ have to tie my wrists so tight? Was that really necessary? My hands are going to fall off, then what use will I be? I'm not talking if my hands fall off. I'm kind of attached to them, thanks."

He took another deep breath, and the pirate seemed to take this as an opportunity to cut in. "I've seen some people's heads fucked up after Equius punched their fuckin' lights out, but holy shit. Maybe you should get some more sleep, brother. It's gonna be night soon, anyway." He gestured towards the setting sun, which was halfway set.

"Fuck off. My head doesn't even _hurt_. I think I..." he trailed off. The truth was, he probably passed out purely because of the pain when his nose had broken, but he wasn't going to admit that. "Uh. Anyways. I don't have any information, like I said, so you might as well toss me overboard now."

The pirate laughed, a honking noise. "Hell no! You ain't here for any of that shit. I think you're gonna get your ass ransomed." He thought it over for a moment, nodded, and took a long drink from his bottle. Jesus, that thing was big. It was amazing he was still coherent from getting halfway through it.

"Ransomed?" he snorted. "From who? My family's poor as shit."

He shrugged. "I dunno. Captain says, though, so it's gotta be for a reason."

Someone shouted something in their direction- Karkat didn't catch what the person said. The pirate looked up towards the shout, grinned at Karkat, and said, "Later, motherfucker." He left Karkat, walking surprisingly steadily for someone who seemed so drunk.

Motherfucker? Karkat scowled. He guessed it was fair that he had been called that, but that wouldn't stop him from bitching about it. Maybe if he complained enough, the pirates would let him go. He had heard they did stuff like that all the time. They were _pirates_ , after all. All they did was steal from others and squabble amongst themselves over who got the best stolen items.

Who had that guy been, anyway? Why had he been just sitting next to him, drinking his rum and waiting for him to wake up? Everyone else was busy, but not him. He had been happy to do nothing but wait for Karkat to wake up, drinking his rum and doing whatever it was alcoholic pirates did in their free time.

Hours later, movement snapped Karkat out of the stupor he had entered. He hadn't been asleep, exactly, but being ignored by the pirates had gotten old quickly. There wasn't much else to do except sleep or space out, so he had chosen the latter. Sleep never came to him easily, anyways.

The pirates were preparing for something. Gulls screamed above him, signaling that they were near land. He strained to try and see, but he couldn't look beyond the poop deck. Maybe they were going to stop here and try to ransom him in town? He didn't know how or why they would do that, but he supposed they had their own brain-rotted reasons. Unless they knew...

No. They couldn't. He had never told anyone, and it was pretty unlikely that these animals would be the ones to find out. It was impossible.

Someone reached out from behind him and shoved what tasted like a compressed ball of sweat in his mouth. His yells of protest were muffled as they tied the gag to the mast.

 _Really?_ he thought furiously. _Are you tying my fucking head to the mast? Are you fucking kidding me?_

After what felt like hours (which Karkat spent silently fuming over the gag, which tasted even worse than the taste of blood he had been stuck with before), the ship had gone to shore, been anchored in a 'hidden' area, and was abandoned. Where the crew was going, Karkat didn't know. When they would be back, Karkat didn't know. Maybe they were leaving him here to die. Maybe this was a new kind of pirate executions, where they waited until you died of gross rag poisoning, where-

"Hey hey, motherfucker," said a familiar, slurred voice. Karkat would have turned his head to look behind him, but alas, he couldn't. He felt someone untie his gag and take it out of his mouth, leaving him free to spit (or try to, anyway- his mouth was too dry) and splutter.

The pirate with the green bottle was back. Karkat could feel him messing around with the knots tying him up. For a moment, he was silent. Then, as the first of the ropes became loose, he asked, "What are you doing?"

"Untying you. And I got some water and wine for you. You gotta be all hells of thirsty after that motherfucking rag was at to be in your mouth."

Once again, Karkat was briefly at a loss for words. "...You know I can escape, right? That's something tying me up is supposed to prevent."

Another rope came loose. Karkat could move his torso now if he wanted. He didn't. "Yeah, but you ain't." The voice was so confident he had a brief impulse to escape no matter what he said, if only to spite him.

"Why not?"

"Aw, c'mon, bro. Ain't nothing here for you. Just a fuckin' island with a bunch of criminals on it, doing their wicked business."

Karkat sighed. He had assumed as much. As the final rope came loose, he stood up, legs stiff from sitting in the same position all day. He grunted, leaning against a barrel, trying to move the stiffness out of them. The pirate behind him did absolutely nothing to stop him.

When he turned around, he saw the pirate, smiling patiently. He was swaying a bit on his feet now. The bottle was practically empty, a small bit of liquid moving around inside with each movement the pirate made. In his other hand, he held a skin of water, which he was holding out to Karkat.

He took it and said, "You should sit down," before he could stop himself. The pirate looked like he was about to fall over. He took a long drink and stared at the pirate as he complied.

"Aight, bro, but I gotta warn you," said the pirate, staring back at Karkat. He drank the rest of the rum in the bottle. "There's a price you gotta pay for taking the water."

He choked. "What? Are you fucking kidding me? What is i-"

The pirate held up a finger. "You gotta tell me a story."


End file.
